No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
