I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Randomize
