i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
