Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
