when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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