we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
