Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Success! We fucked roommates!
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Come on in and take your pants off
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
