You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
