I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
