You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
