I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
