so explain again why im purple
no
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize