i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
