i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
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