Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Randomize
