Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
