perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
