i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
