I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
