True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
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