i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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