it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
