The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
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