he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize