I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
