i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
tell your sister to shave her snatch
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
