I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Randomize
