I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
