in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
