And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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