bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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