Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Randomize
