she looked like the bat from fern gully.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
