Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Randomize
