If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
it's great music for shaving your balls
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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