she was so not down for the gang bang
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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