White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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