I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
