Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
