Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
