Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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