I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
