I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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