remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
