Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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