forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
A+ Viking dick
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
