I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I supernannyed him into submission
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
