You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize