A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
