her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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