If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
God, I missed his penis.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
