____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Randomize
