Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
