we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
