So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
