Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
