U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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