that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
