areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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