yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
